


all i do is cry and complain (because second's not the same)

by strngrmills



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alcohol Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, F/F, Hate to Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lawyer Maleficient, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Racism, Self Harm, Teacher Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-02 21:32:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11517888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strngrmills/pseuds/strngrmills
Summary: AU Dragon Queen. Lily Page is an excellent student, and her friendship with Professor Mills is odd, but good; however, Malia, Lily's mother, is not thrilled about Regina Mills entering their lifes, but both women will be forced to coexist, and along the way, could they heal each other or will the be torn apart?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a fluffly, AU, one shot, featuring English Teacher Mills, a MILF Mal and a matchmaker Lily, but it turned out dark, longer and angsty. It's not sixty-chapters-long slowburn, but I can assure you Mal and Regina are not goint to be together soon either. It contains depression, lesbian romance, character's death and more tags to be added, so you've been warned, but fear not, light will come eventually. Now, time to read!

Heels clicked nervously on the floor, the sound filling the empty, quiet room. Waiting outside, Lilith Page knew a few things about Regina Mills:

a) She was the best English teacher she had ever met.

b) She wanted to speak with her very busy mother.

c) That meeting could end in burning flames or paradise.

But, what Lily didn't know, was what did Ms Mills wanted. She knew a few rumors about the woman, but she wasn't sure those were true; Lily was tempted to go inside and soothe her teacher, who looks nervous and about to cry. Was it because of her? Something was wrong, wasn't it?

"Honey, I'm sorry I made you wait, I tried to-"

"Yeah, whatever" the brunette said, her green brown eyes bored. It was always the same with her mother: work, work, and more work. After her mothers got divorced, when she was seven, Malia Page had changed, diving herself in work, courts, lawyer crap Lily didn't mind much, while her other mother, Briar, went on with her life, her new husband and her baby. Last time Lily saw her mother was when she was fourteen, and she was about to be sixteen soon.

She understood her mother, and how hard she had to work to get back the life they had after going bankrupt and being betrayed, and, to top it all, having to take care of a little girl, but Lily was tired of Mal only caring about her when things were on the edge.

They entered the room, where Ms Mills had sat on her desk, legs crossed and glasses on, reading what looked like Lily's academic record.

Crap.

The woman didn't seem to notice the intrusion.

"Ms Mills, I'm Ms Page, Lilith's mother" Mal said, reaching for the brunette. That's when the teacher reacted, blusing and jumping out the desk, straightening her skirt and dropping the file.

"Oh, I am so sorry" she said, shaking hands with the tall blonde before her. "Please, take a seat" she added, gesturing at the two chairs in front of her own. The woman, apparently no more than thirty, sat in front of the Page girls and grabbed the file, adjusting her glasses.

"Is everything alright?" Lily said quietly, worry in her voice. Ever since she found out she was adopted, she was afraid of Malia abandoning her, just like Briar did, just like her birth parents did.

"Oh, no, don't worry! It's actually the opposite" she smiled, and Malia's puzzled look was enough for her to continue. "I summoned you both because I need the legal tutor, I would like to discuss something with you" she focused her attention to Malia. "As you know, I've been Lily's tutor since she entered middle school, and with the new scholar year begun, I'd like to offer the girl the possibility of attend PAL."

"What's PAL?" asked Lily, and Malia just got closer to the teacher.

"It stands for Preparatorial Advanced Lessons. It's a program to prepare advanced kids in their strongest areas, to improve their grades and to give them more chances to attend a good college. I've noticed that Lily is remarkable in History, English, Spanish and Philosophy. The lessons would be chosen by the student, as well as the days and the hours of it. All the information is inside the folder, I wouldn't want to bother you anymore-"

"Actually," Lily said, smiling, "you could come over, had dinner with us and tell me all about this program. Right, mom?" the young brunette added. Startled, the blonde could only nod.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to interrupt" the woman said, feeling like a bother. Always like a bother.

"I insist" Lily replied, with her best soft smile, and with that face, Regina could only look at the tall blonde who smiled apologetically.

"In that case, I shall gather my belongings and leave with you" she smiled back.

Mal was speechless. Since meeting her, Lily only talked about how smart her teacher was, how kind, and funny, and pretty, and Mal had never met the woman personally, but her daughter's ranting and rambling about the stunning woman made her an expert on Miss Mills. However, seeing her in person made her shiver: well mannered, well spoken, soft, kind hearted, Malia understood then why everybody seemed to love the woman, despite hearing bad things about her, like how she became evil and guarded after her son's death, which was still a mystery. In fact, not many people knew she had a son until he died.

Curious about the mysterious woman, Mal followed the two brunettes, and both connected so well, Lily was so happy around the woman… that Mal felt jealous and sad; ever since Lily found out she was adopted, at the age of twelve, she had changed and their relationship didn't feel the same. Mal herself wanted Lily to learn Spanish since she was Latina, but the girl didn't want to learn her parent's language, refusing to get closer to them in any way, but now she was choosing it as the foreign language and Mal felt confused, even hurt because her little girl didn't tell her a thing about it.

On the other side, Lily was thrilled. Inviting the woman over was her way of staying closer to her, avoiding her mother's questions about what would she do and what did she wanted to study and blah blah blah and dah dah dah dah dah. Her eyes sparked whenever her teacher talked about anything: it wasn't a crush, as her friends said, but it was more like a maternal role for her, someone to admire and follow; honestly, she didn't care much about being the teacher's pet, because that woman felt nice, supportive, caring, and was amazing. Talking about books with her was so cool, and she was really helpful with her Spanish. She felt a true connection with the Cuban woman, she wouldn't deny it.

"How do you feel about some McDonald's?" Mal suggested, trying to enter the conversation they were having about horrible torture methods, like the Spanish Inquisition ones or the Nazi ones.

"I'd like to go home and get changed, and then I'll join you" Regina said, fingers twitching nervously.

"We'll head there and wait for you!" Lily said happy, hugging the woman unceremoniously and grabbing her mother's hand to go, while Malia glanced one last time at the woman's back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back, yay! New chapter! The updates will probably be once per week, between fridays, saturdays and sundays, since on the weekends I'm usually out and I post whenever I have the chance. Obviously, it's summer break, so if I don't post a week, I'm probably lost somewhere XD
> 
> Anyway, I'm here with a new chapter, but I must warn you, Malia is a bitch (and not in the good way of the word), and Regina is... well, Regina, so there's gonna be bad blood between them for some chapters, but fear not, Dragon Queen is endgame! But yeah, you'll probably want to kill Mal after this chapter. Now, let's read!
> 
> Warning: there's some racism in here.
> 
> P.S: I forgot to mention that obviously,neither the characters are mine, and I only write the story with th esole purpose of giving people something to entretain themselves. Also, I'm really sorry if I mix british and american slang, but here in Spain we learn british at school and american at TV show land XD and as you guys can tell, I have no beta.

_**"We'll head there and wait for you!" Lily said happy, hugging the woman unceremoniously and grabbing her mother's hand to go, while Malia glanced one last time at the woman's back.** _

On her way home, not far away from school, Regina tried to hold herself together: this was the first time she was going out since Henry passed away, and with the kid's birthday in a few days, she felt a lump in her throat. Swallowing it, she entered the huge mansion she didn't want nor need, empty and quiet, cold, and changed her attire, leaving her reading glasses and taking her make up off, only applying some mascara and some pink gloss, wearing now black combat boots, black jeans, a Metallica t-shirt and a denim black jacket. Feeling so relieved and young and cheerful with Lily made her feel guilty, wherever Henry was, would he be happy about it? Would he be mad at her?

In the fast food restaurant, Lily talked all the time about Regina, and Mal couldn't help but get angry about it: Regina was perfect, and it made her look like the old, distant mother. She despised that woman and she barely knew her.

_Just a few hours, Malia, and she'll be gone._

As she entered the place, Malia felt, again, speechless. Without dark make up and tight clothes, the woman resembled a teenager, her hair shining underneath the artificial lights and her skin glowing. Lily gestured at her, and Regina smiled, a pained smiled, reaching the booth.

"Good night, Lily. Ms Page"

"Oh, call me Malia, dear" she said, in a suspicious sweet tone, and the teacher sat. After ordering and chattering about Mal's work, Regina went back to the PAL subject.

"I've been part of it myself, both as a student and as a teacher, and I'm still working on it. I'm not going to lie, it's a lot of hard work, less free time, but it shows you your true potential, how many things you can do with effort"

"I'd like to do something related with History in the future, but I'm not sure what specialization I should choose" the teen answered, chewing her lip.

"Don't worry, it will all come together" Regina said, grabbing in comfort the girl's hand, making Malia's blood boil. Who the hell did she thought she was?

"It will be your birthday in five days, sweetheart. What would you like to do?" Malia asked, getting all the attention. The girl hardened her face, scrunching it.

"For you to wake up home, make breakfast, take me home… y'know, what normal mothers do" she snapped, and Malia had to breath and count to ten, they didn't want to make a scene in public.

"I'll try my best"

"You always say that"

"Lily, give her a break. Working and parenting can be really hard to-"

"AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PARENTING?! YOUR SON IS DEAD!" the blonde blew, yelling at the brunette. Surprisingly, Regina got up slowly, grabbed her purse and left, tears pooling in her brown eyes; she was trying to do what was best, to stand up for the mother, since Henry had had his own rebellious phase and she wished at the time someone stood up for her... Running as fast as possible, she reached her home, and looking at a big framed picture of Henry's elementary school graduation, with the boy and herself hugging, she smashed it with an umbrella, and crying, screaming, she smashed all the pictures with the curious green eyed boy on them. By the time she finished, her floor was covered in shattered glasses, her eyes red and unfocused, her arms tired, her throat sore. In the kitchen, she found alcohol and she drank it, burning in his way down, and laid on the garden's green grass, a chilly November night.

Next day, English was chaotic. Having no teacher was hideous, and Lily could barely cope with the noise around her. Where was Ms Mills? She was the only teacher who had never, ever, been absent, not even after her son's death. Something really serious was going on, and Ms Blanchard was living proof: the woman in the hallway kept calling Regina, but she wasn't answering and everybody was getting worried.

"In love much, huh?" Melinda, Lily's best friend, said as she sat next to the brown haired girl, who huffed in response.

"I told you a thousand times, I'm not in love with her. I consider her a friend, but that's all. Plus, I'm not gay" she rolled her eyes.

"No everything is black or white" Melinda winked, and Lily threw her head back.

"I'm not bi either. I'm straight, okay? And all I feel for her is admiration, period" she replied, tired of her friend's answers. Couldn't she just worry about the woman who could be her mother?

"Being 'friend' of a teacher is never a good option. She could be your mother."

"I know…" she was truly concerned. She just liked Regina, but not in a sexual way. She just wanted to know about the closed woman, where she came from, how was she when she was her age, things like that. Ever since the adoption finding out thing… Lily felt a strange pull, between getting closer to her roots or hating them. Why did her mother abandon her? She loved Malia, she was _her mother,_ the one and only, but she couldn't help but feel curious about the woman who carried her for nine months, and why did she gave _her_ away. Getting her phone, she started typing.

"Are you okay?" "Is everything alright?" "You haven't come to school"

She locked her phone and prayed to all the gods in the universe for an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, chapters are too short and updates are too far away, but I'm taking my time with the story, constantly thinking about both women's background and past and personalities, the writing is still on process, so, patience, my dears! Also, in my twitter account (strngrmills), my pinned tweet is about this fic, so any update which is not the story itself will be posted there (like the crappy cover I made for the story, which is in my pinned tweet), and my DMs are open, so any advice, complain, feedback, whatever, you can either contact me through Wattpad/AO3/Fanfiction of through Twitter.
> 
> Now, thanks for reading, babes! Excited about the next? Is Regina going to reply? Is Mal going to apologise? Will Lily seek her teacher? Is Regina okay? Stay tunned and you'll find out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah... I said I would update once per week and here I am after updating this thursday, but these past 24 hours have been quite difficult for the LBGT Fangirl community, with SDCC Supergirl (SuperCorp shippers, sweeties, I'm so fucking sorry) and William Shatner coming at us (Swens, sweeties, I'm fucking sorry again), that I felt I had to update and bring some lesbian romance so y'all can read and distract yourselves a bit from this nightmare of Sunday. This is all I can do, as part of the LGBT community and as both Supercorper and Swen. I'm tired of all this hate aimed at us, I'm tired of people trying to drag and ruin us, trying that hard to destroy us. So, I can't do much, but I can say we still have videos, fanfiction, talented artists in our fandoms, and we all should protect each other and defend each other and stand strong instead of diving, especially if you ship both Dragon Queen and Swan Queen, because being multishipper is completely fine, and it doesn't makes you a worse Swen, wanting Regina to be happy and wanting some Rep (although we know we can't trust OUAT at this point) is okay, and we all should spread love, not hate, specially when it comes to our equals. 
> 
> Now, enough with the speech! Here we have more angst, and, remember the tags? Depression, dark, angsty? Here it is, just a glimpse but enough for today. Just so you know, here we are safe,our girls are going to go through some shit, both together and on their own, but they'll see the light eventually and Dragon Queen will rise.
> 
> Today's warnings: Racism, Self Harm, Alcohol abuse. But hey, let's just enjoy!

_**"Are you okay?" "Is everything alright?" "You haven't come to school"** _

_**She locked her phone and prayed to all the gods in the universe for an answer.** _

Pushing the button, Malia waited patiently for the elevator to work. She had a meeting in four minutes, and she needed one to reach the tenth floor and two to cross the rooms and corridors, and one to fix herself and enter the meeting room. Working as a lawyer was exhausting, but good enough for her.

"Tim said he saw her through the living room's window, that she was like a mad woman, destroying everything around her" a woman said next to Mal, but she didn't pay much attention, she didn't like gossips.

"I'm not surprised, I wouldn't let a savage Mexican get near my kids, all the kids at the Misthaven are the worst, that's why they have teachers like that". Now that got her attention, Lily attended the public school of Misthaven, and she was way better than any of the uptight preppy kids from the Saint Peter's private school. Which led her to… were they talking about Regina Mills? Lily commented something about the brunette being Latina, could it be her?

"She's been 'Loca' since her son died. A shame, but life's like that" one of the women said, and as mad as they just said Regina was, Malia left the elevator the moment the doors opened, walking angrily, fast, suffocated. She felt sort of threatened by the English teacher, but despite what she said the other night, she felt compassion for the poor woman, and she had a heart and soul, unlike the two gossiping bitches behind her.

And that, is the reason why she dragged herself to the woman's house after hearing Lily's concerned voice while talking about how Ms Mills hadn't showed up that day and she could tell her kid was genuinely worried. Malia felt guilty about last night: Regina was a stranger, no more, no less, and having an intruder in her life, _in her daughter's_ life, she was feeling terrible with all of this; true, Regina tried to stand up for her, but it made her feel weak, vulnerable, not good enough, and all those things her mother would tell her she was. She just wanted to be enough for once. _Mor,_ Briar, now Lily… she just wanted to be happy, to have a simple life, but still, what she did was a low blow, she was being a beggarly, squalid, heartless monster, or at least, she felt like that. And she was so, _so_ sorry.

Knock knock, but no one answered, until she heard a _thum_ and a _¡joder!_ which she assumed was a curse word, and heavy footsteps and the door opening, revealing black rimmed eyes, an oversized basketball T-shirt with the School's logo and he ankle, with a not quite small piece of glass stuck, making her bleed, and knuckles equally stained with the red liquid. Open mouth, wide eyes, all she could do was to hesitate.

"Oh, look who's here! The Samaritan of the year!" the woman exclaimed, as if the crystal in her now pale skin and the messy, sticky hair and the puffy, red, oh so miserable eyes weren't there, with a broken, raspy voice and sloppy steps inside. "Oh, but, c'mon! Tell me, what more insults do you have to throw at me, I'm ready!" she said, gesturing in a dramatic way, leading her to the living room, and through the path, Malia Page had to avoid shattered glasses and bottles of vodka, wine, whisky, rum and all the alcohol imaginable, and she saw the always put together woman throwing herself at the ripped with leather couch, a big knife on the floor next to her.

_What the hell?_

It was 4 p.m and she was drunk, on a pretty compromising position over the couch, and if other circumstances, the blonde wouldn't have missed or ignored the younger woman's long legs, her fine ass, her navel piercing and the owl shaped tattoo on her thigh or the cleavage that tee was creating, but she looked broken, and with a gigantic void in her soul, and she just looked so much like her when she had to sign those damn divorce papers, that she just fell pure, raw pity. It couldn't be just because of her outburst, _right?_

"I'm sorry". It was a quiet, mustered, barely hearable apology, but she was so bad at apologizing, so bad at admitting her mistakes.

Unceremoniously, Regina grabbed the knife and started cutting her fingerprints, almost enjoying the blood and the pain coming of it.

"What- what are you doing?" she said, afraid, unable to process the situation. How should she react to the scene happening right under her nose? Her first instinct, after having an alcoholic mother and bullies as classmates and all type of shit, was to try and grab the knife, but the tipsy woman was too awake it seemed, and she pulled away before she could do anything. Fast as The Flash, the brunette stood up and pressed the blade against the taller woman's jugular, despite the height gap, accentuated by a bare footed Regina and Malia's stilettos. The woman seemed to be able to disarm her, but she didn't have anything left to lose, so she faced her with all the dignity she could summon.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House. NOW!" and to reaffirm her words, she pushed her, still with the knife in her throat, until the woman's back was against the white door and she could hear her heart in her ears.

And Malia left, thinking that the woman was indeed crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mor means "mother, mom" in danish, just so you know ;) Pretty intense, right? Mal overreacted first, now Regina overreacts. Malia leaves, but not for too long because fate is a bitch and won't leave them alone. Some flashbacks coming, what do you guys want to see? Don't forget to contact me in anyway if you have doubts, complains, etc. Someone already cracked the story's plot twist, so, shhh, let's keep it a secret, and their reactions and behaviours will be explored and explained, so, fear not. Now, I must leave to keep on writing! I hope y'all enjoyed and at least got your minds a bit off from all these homphobic mess that Twitter is now. 
> 
> See you! And as always, thanks for reading and supporting the story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! I'm here, not much to tell! How's week been? I have been thinking about the story and... WE'LL HAVE CLICHÉS! the "blind" date, the mistaken for a couple cliché, the fake relationship cliché, etc. What clichés do you like? Maybe if you drop them by the comment/review section I borrow a few and include them here, or maybe, even better: i do one shots.
> 
> But, ENOUGH TALKING! thought some fluff would be appreciated before the storm comes and destroys things. Now, let's just read, and see how things evolve, shall we?
> 
> P.S: all grammar and spelling mistakes are solely mine, so if you find something that doesn't make much sense, tell me! I need to learn and get better, and this is the best way.

_**And Malia left, thinking that the woman was indeed crazy.** _

But fate threw them together, once more. After three days of not showing up, Regina was fired, and the sixteenth of November, when the clock told the world it was 11 a.m, Malia Page ringed Regina Mills' door, over and over again, because her daughter wanted the woman to attend her birthday weekend in New York, which would start right after lunch, and as much as she hated the situation, as much as she wanted to cry, she wouldn't. She said she would try, and if she had to drag herself in front of a psychopath in order to make her beautiful, pure Lily happy, she would.

After too much noise, unable to ignore it, Regina wrapped her body with the sheets and descended the stairs carefully, her head pounding, her mouth dry. She grabbed Graham's shirt along the way, throwing it somewhere, and reached the door, only to see Lily's mother on the other side. She knew a lot about the woman based on Lily's rambling during their evenings tidying the school library; that child loved her mother, she was her hero, her role model, and she admired her so much, which was sometimes contradictorial because at the same time, Lily complained about how absent her mother was, the disappointment she seemed to be, always lying. Somehow, it made her think of her own mother, too evil to have a heart, and it made her have a deeper connection with the girl. But then again, this woman was nothing like Cora, and if she could hate her, thing would be much easier, but she couldn't. And that was sinking into her, how helplessly connected they both, whether they liked it or not.

"Look, if you don't want to talk, it's fine, I just dropped by to tell you that Lily wants you to come to New York with us for the weekend, to spend it together". Regina could see the woman rolling her eyes and smirked, kind of amused by the woman's shocking sincerity. She unlocked the door and stepped away, letting the older woman inside; why? Because, as much as they disliked each other, they had something in common: Lily. Lily, Lily, Lily, and nothing else, that was already enough.

Once inside, Mal couldn't help but to glance at the woman, white sheet loosely hanging around her body, covering not too much. She observed her clear shoulders, noticing how white passing the woman could be, and when she turned, she noticed that scarred back, and a tattoo on her left shoulder blade which said 'destroy what destroys you', and by judging the slight blur, it wasn't recent, but it wasn't old either. Back to the scars, they were small, barely noticeable, but although the woman's skin wasn't exactly dark, it was darker than the pale lines, and if you payed enough attention, you could just see them and wonder why on earth did she had them; but, being who she was, she knew _what_ they were and she could imagine _how_ she had them and _who_ did them, because as a lawyer she had seem child abuse but before being a lawyer, she had being a child, too.

Malia followed her to the kitchen, where Regina grabbed a huge box and opened it, revealing all sorts of doughnuts. Suddenly, Mal just wanted to sit and eat those-

"Let's be clear: I don't like you, you don't like me, but Lily likes us both enough, and we know enough to know she won't give up until we get along, and I'm assuming you are here because of our _one and only_ point in common, so spit it out"

"She wants you to come with us. To New York, for the weekend". As annoying the woman was, she had such a fine ass and that tongue licking her plump lips was doing things to her lesbian self.

"We'll pretend to get along as long as she's near" Regina added, biting on the small circular cake. She grabbed another right after swallowing the first and, biting it, the weird strawberry juice it had inside spilled all over slim fingers and the blonde lawyer couldn't help but to wonder how those same fingers would look coated with other type of juices.

"Yeah, right. Fine. I'll pay for everything" she could only add. This simple teacher right in front of her was in charge even naked and eating, and she didn't like not to be on charge of the situation. Oh God, was she blushing? She needed some sex as soon as possible, and maybe if she weren't somehow fighting with this woman, competing for Lilith's love, maybe she would just bend her over the table and-

"Oh, no. No, I can pay for my own stuff, Ms Page. Considering her birthday is tomorrow, when are we leaving?"

"In less than six hours".

Yep, Regina choked on her doughnut, letting the sheet slip and showing her perfect weapons, Mal couldn't stop looking and it wasn't until the woman in front of her could breathe that she didn't try to help.

"I'm fine, y'know, barely living, but… wait, are you seriously looking at my boobs?!" the teacher was red with anger and the reminiscent lack of air, and all Mal could say was "meet you at the airport at four p.m" before leaving the woman to rage alone. Now alone in her kitchen, Regina couldn't help but to stare at the nothing while thinking _what the hell have I put myself on?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all! Trip to New York! It's one my dream cities, I'd love to visit it or even live there for a while, so, if you know about the city on a personal level, you could tell me if you want to make their stay there more realistic, since tourist guides are not the same as seeing it live and in stereo, right?
> 
> More things and warnings will come, but for now, I leave with this. As y'all can see, some abuse hints, we'll talk about it later and it won't be pretty. For now we know Mal is 100% into women, but what about Regina? Make your bets!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> End of chapter! They're not going to be long because I prefer short chapters and frenquent updates. THis one is the introduction, something lighter... or not. Whatever. Soon, the "date". Stay tuned for more, and any complain, question, or feedback, is welcome! Just tell me via review/comment or in my twitter (strngrmills). Thanks for reading, I hope y'all like it!


End file.
